This is how i cope my beutiful babies, does not matter what happens as long as i have them all will be right with the world!
This is how i cope my beutiful babies, does not matter what happens as long as i have them all will be right with the world!
Well i missed yesterday as i was very hectic getting my babies ready to spend their first night away from me and with there Daddy. While packing all their little bits i had to wipe away a few tears as it is not every mother that lets their 11 week old son out of their site for the night.
The children stayed with Daddy at Grandmas for reasons i do not want to put on here as to personal. I was given the opportunity to get all glammed up like i used to in the good old days and go out with my to wonderful sister in laws and my gorgeous sister in law to be for a very quiet hen do (she still had to wear a tiara and sash she did not get away from it entirely).
We met in Croydon as is it was central to all and had a wonderful catch up gossip and meal. It was great to see them as i am very close to them and all of my ex husbands family as i have known them for 18 years! And i intend to keep it that way for my sake and the childrens.
When i got home i had to go straight to bed as the flat was so empty and quiet. My sons crib was empty next to my bed and i woke up often thinking it was feed time and at 4am when my daughter normally shuffles sleepily into my bed i woke up with a start wondering where she was. I have had a lovely relaxed morning and blogging this from a hot bubble bath ;0).
But i am now ready for my babies back and to give them
big lemon squeezers!
Well today I had a visit from one of My dearest friends Chelle McCann and she convinced me to join in with NaBloPoMo to take my mind of the current events in my life and I rather daftly agreed!
I have recently been left by my partner of 18 years and Husband of 6 years 5 weeks after giving birth rather traumatically by emergency C-Section to my son at 35 weeks weighing with him weighing just 3lb 8oz. I had a horrific and very toxic pregnancy that caused my arthritis to flair to levels of pain I did not know existed and caused me to have to use crutches from May to recently as my legs were so swollen I could not walk!
I am going to use this blog a day as an opportunity to write about my progress since my husband left and how I am doing as a newly singly Mummy to my 4 year old daughter and now 11 week old son. This project will help take my mind off the current raw and emotional state i regularly find myself in and work through some of the crap that is being thrown at me.
I will say this year has been awful BUT the best thing that has come out of it is my gorgeous son, my children keep me strong and literally get out of my bed every day ;o)
So bring on the challenge and it will be with a tiny baby and a 4 year old in tow!
I am releasing this blog post on my sons expected due date 16th September as a little tribute to him already being a month old!!!
Well our little boy made a very sudden appearance on the 16th August 2012. After a very troubled pregnancy and finding out at 33 weeks i was going to have a tiny baby it was agreed i would be induced at 36 weeks on Tuesday 22nd August but our little man had very different ideas!!!
On the Wednesday the week before the much anticipated induction i started to feel quite poorly getting stomach aches and period pains and migrains one after the other i went to bed feeling quite out of sorts. I woke up on the Thursday feeling like i had an elephant sitting on my head and cotton wool for brains.
My awesome mother in law came to visit me and i described what was happening and she confirmed that it soundedlike the early signs of labour. I burst into tears on her as i just felt awful and i kept loosing my vision with the migrains, (now my mother in law is never quite sure what to do with any of her daughter in laws when they do this as she has only raised four burly boisterous boys!) she handled it well with a much needed hug.
After she Left a few of my friends arrived two with their 2 week old son which blew my mind as i was holding an 8lb 2oz baby who was over double the weight we new my son was going to be! I confided in my friend that I was haveing some unusual stirrings that were getting quite uncomfortable to which she confirmed that this is how her labour begun. But still at 4:30 I jumped (well hobbled on crutches) into the car To colkect C from nursery with my friends words of “if you need anything at all” ringing in my ears.
Well by 6:30 on 16th August I had started to think that maybe this was a little more serious than I first thought and contacted the labour triage unit at Brighton Hospital, I was also quite worried by the lack of movement I had felt from my little fella they advised me to come in when I was ready to be monitored on a CTG. I had to chase the hubby a number of times as he was working late finally he walked through the door at 7:30 not fully grasping my worry and urgency, he did however pack me a fabulous cheese and pickle roll for my trip. I said goodbye to C saying see you in an hour not knowing that it be a full 8 days before I returned home with a tiny baby in my arms.
Once at the hosital I waited 40 minutes to be seen I had just made the decision to go home when they were ready for me and this is where the fun began! I was put on the CTG monitor to have a trace done, within 20 mins my tightenings got more regular and then suddenly the baby took a massive dip and so did his heart beat. The small empty quiet room I was in suddenly filled with doctors and midwives I was made to lay on my side and told not to move as my position could possibly be the problem. They monitored me for another 20 mins in which time the babies heartbeat kept dropping.
I was made to change into a hospital gown, have an internal exam from a very delightful (dishy) obstetritian, call my husband to arrange childcare for C and get to the hospital asap as we were having the baby in th next 45 minutes not once realising myself (more like i was in denial) that I was about to have an emergency c-section. I was marched down a corridor with my butt hanging out my hospital gown and walked into a room and felt rather shocked to discover it was an operating theatre!
I was promptly popped onto the operating table pulled and pushed in every direction to get my spinal block in which was not was not easy due to having arthritis in my spine and all my joints below my spine. I have to say at this point I am so glad my husband was not with me as everything was happening at such a fast and frantic pace it would have been quite scary to witness. My husband arrived just as our baby boy was pulled out, he was outside the operating theatre when he heard his son cry and thankfully was there to hold my hand while being sewn up and to hold our son as I was having a very itchy reaction to all the drugs I was pumped full of. It was atvthis point that we were told that if i had not arrived for treatment at the hospital when i did it could have been fatal for my son and I, his placenta was tiny and in tatters, I had 3 day old muconium in my stomach and his cord gases where depleating, my word to Mums to be always trust your instincts and what your body is telling you always better to be safe than sorry!!!
We were allowed to hold our son for 20 minutes before daddy had to take him upto the Trevor Mann neo natal unit for special care and this is when I started writing this blog post trying to take my mind off the fact that I was not holding my new baby.
We were told our son would be in special care due to his tiny 3lb 8oz size for a month but were delighted when after just 6 days they let our now named Freddie George join me on the maternity ward for 2 days before both being let home to join our family, Freddie is now part of a Neonatal outreach programme with the Trevor Mann unit he is their first patient to participate where premature babies get to be monitored at home and we could not be happier.
I have made this blog post as light hearted as possible as my pregnancy was to put it politely horrific and it made me seriously ill since May loosing my mobility and use of my legs, having an 8 day stay in hospital with extremely swollen legs and joints due to a severe arthritis flare up and suffered a number if irritating skin conditions, BUT that is now all behind me and to be forgotten as i have my perfect family and and very healthy little boy!
Now I am rather excited as on the 30th April my hubby C and I trotted off to the hospital for my 20 week scan, my daughter confirmed she wanted to know what was in mummies tummy! As soon as they started the scan we new instantly it was very obvious we are having a boy.
This has delighted C no end she has only ever wanted a brother and has previously told me that if it was a girl she was going in the bin.
Now being arthritic and pregnant is not always a happy Combination. I have Ankylosing Spondilitis which is in my spine and hips and has a weakening effect on the muscle skeletal system which leaves you very prone to inflammation and a lot of aches and pains. I have a lot if issues with neck movement and am now suffering with reactive arthritis in other joints.
I am currently having major issues with my knees normally my left but this week has thrown a curve ball at me and my right knee has swollen so big it resembles Frankensteins knee.
Now this dodgy knee is making life very difficult as I am struggling to get around unable to look after C and get her to nursery as we don’t own a car, this has loaded enormous pressure on my already very tired and busy husband. I am currently on crutches and on Thursday spent 7 hours in A&E having my knee drained several times which to put it politely was bloody painful. Now as i don’t have family nearby who can help out so I had to spend all that time on my own while my husband looked after my daughter at home, their is nothing lonelier than being stuck in hospital in pain and pregnant while having excruciating treatments done to you. I shed many tears and all I wanted was a hug or a comforting hand to hold. I know it sounds like I am wallowing in self pity and to be honest i am a bit! my condition is painful and not always visible so many people just wonder what the hell is wrong with me this time.
I have this Jubilee weekend been particularly poorly my knee has been so huge that I have been unable to bend let alone walk on my leftt leg, then my right ankle started to swell, I was so uncomfortable that my specialist called me in for emergency treatment which was painful but so worth it and I am hoping that in a few days I will be back to my normal chipper self.
I hate being in pain and I loath my condition! I have had it since I was 21 and runs in my family along with rheumatoid arthritis and it has struck many of my family young and old, I thank my lucky stars that I am not as bad as some. My condition is no walk in the park it is uncomfortable and painful and can get me quite low. Being in constant pain is physically and mentally draining and having a toddler and being pregnant just burdens the situation.
BUT that said I would not change my situation for the world I have a beautiful daughter a son on the way a fabulous husband who has been with me since the day I was diagnosed and a home I am proud of (it may not look like a palace but it is mine!)
I feel that 90% of the time my condition has actually made me a stronger person I can handle a lot being thrown at me, I can now laugh heartily at the things that used to wind me up and have more compassion and understanding towards others
I really believe the saying “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!”
This Easter proved for my husband and I a wonderful fresh new beginning! We had some much needed time together as a family and shared some really special moments with friends.
As a little family of three it has often proved that we struggle with quality time together my husbands job is extremely busy and can often have him working long hours in the office and away, or working ridiculously long hours at the dining room table.
Come the weekends it is my turn to work doing SEO blogs at the dining room table while the hubby takes C out for some one to one time which they both adore, but this means the three of us get no time together!
But having a long bank holiday weekend together made us all feel so much more united, we went on an egg hunt set up by one of my very dear mummy friends in our local park we decorated eggs and did the kids did an egg rolling competition (the seagulls definitely got more out of this than we did).
We then went onto a friends house for lunch and this were we realised that life was going to be so much easier. We have always been about 4 years ahead of our friends in buying a home, settling down, and having kids.
We for a while felt a distance from our friends, this was no fault of anyone’s our lives had just taken a different path we chose to have a child which we new would stop us just being able to go out at the drop of a hat. It was fine while C was a small baby as we did not have to fit her into a schedule, but after a year and starting nursery we realised that a routine was essential especially as C was quite poorly.
But this Easter proved a significant change for us, when we rocked up to our friends house a good 30 mins late we discovered that there were more married people in the Room than single (and I know me saying this will rankle some readers as it should not matter if you are married single or other) and the other thing that genuinely took us by surprise was the number of kids in the room two of our friends have had twins, another had a little boy 8 weeks ago and the hosts were 5.5 months pregnant to, so us walking into a room with a 3.5 year old daughter and pregnant bump did not feel nearly so daunting as it normally would.
It has to be said we are incredibley fortunate to have the friends we do! we have been friends some of thems since school some 18 years (this is were the hubby and I met in the 6th form and we have been together ever since).
They are genuine honest and incredibly supportive, and whenever C is around they are amazing with her and entertain her they have never once grumbled that we have bought her along they seem genuinely entertained by her and always provide activities for her to do.
And now C will he the boss she is already allowed to hold the babies and feeds my friends twins. She has proved herself to be very helpful if a little bossy.
We feel like we are no longer the odd ones out and realise we just had to be patient things would catch up to us, we now feel more inclined to try and arrange things to do that are child friendly and it won’t put people off. We have realised that even though sometimes life can pull you away from each other or close friends if you give it time and patience you will be drawn back together for that much needed refresh and you can start the next chapter with a clear and an open heart.
All we need now is the sun to make an appearance so that we can get all the kids out to have some BBQ’s fun and games, roll the summer!
I have been desperate to write this post but had to wait until I had my first scan to announce it to anyone and everyone! I now want to shout it from the roof tops I AM PREGNANT!!!! My little family of three is in September going to be a
My Husband and I had to get over the shock at first even though we had been trying it still came as a bit of a surprise. I have been on long term harmful medication for my arthritis I came off it last June to prepare my body and get it back into a state that would be able to accept a pregnancy. I had a full on family Christmas and I let my hair down, I had a few drinks (and for those of you who know me will know that I don’t really drink and have not done for a long time) but for some reason this Christmas I just went with the flow little did I know I was going to find out in the new year I was going to have a baby.
Oddly enough the day before I did my test C kissed my tummy and hugged me and said Mummy there is a baby in there! I just laughed and said “I don’t think so you are my bubba at the moment, maybe one day” but I had an inkling and did a test the next day and hey presto it was positive.
It has not all been plain sailing as at 9 weeks I had a scare and all my pregnancy symptoms disappeared leaving me fearful that I had miss carried this has happened before and left me in rather a bad way (a story I really do not want relive) but after a call to the midwife and a scan at the EPU clinic they found a good strong heart beat much to my utter relief.
I have had horrendous morning sickness but I am kind of glad as it means everything is a going as it should do, this pregnancy is in no way going to be easy as I have been off my arthritis medication for so long and it is starting to flair, I had chronic SPD when pregnant with C and been warned by specialists that I will need a lot more care during this pregnancy to help me handle my pain, which will probably be worse this time round, but I am prepared I want to try and enjoy this pregnancy as it will be the last time I will be doing it! I have been heartily advised to not have anymore children due to my condition my body is just not strong enough.
My other fear and I have again been warned it could happen due to my weak immune system is a Polymorphic Eruption of Pregnancy (also known as PEP) I was left neck to toe in a very itch papule rash for the last 3 months of pregnancy and was unbearable and disturbed me 24/7, I had mottled scarring for 3 months after giving birth, I am desperate for this NOT to happen again and would not wish it on my worst enemy.
I realise I sound quite negative when I am actually very excited and desperate to find out what the sex is, C has demanded a brother no pressure then ;o) I will be happy with whatever I am given. I feel very lucky to be having a second child; I am most excited about giving C a sister or brother as she is the most gorgeous caring and nurturing little girl who will be the most amazing big sister. C has already declared that she wants to help! She said “I will do the wee nappies Mummy and Daddy can do the poo nappies” she really does melt my heart.
I asked Carrie from Baby Swap or Shop about how she manages her family finances after Christmas. Her website www.babyswaporshop.co.uk is a site where parents can sell or swap their preloved baby items without adding on additional costs that Ebay/Table shops sales/Carboot sales have.
How are you saving money in the post Christmas belt tightening that we all do?
We have had a clear-out to make room for new things and will be loading them up to the website so that other parents can buy or swap them. We are also having a few small personal cut-backs, a few less magazines/chocolate bars soon add up.
How do you budget for January and February?
We don’t particularly make any special plans for January or February. We don’t do a lot in January – like everyone else! We probably have a few weeks of healthy eating and no take-aways or alcohol until we are fed up of our New Year Resolutions so we save that way : )
If you have any items that are unloved and preloved why not list them on Baby Swap or Shop? There are plenty of parents looking for various items and we are sure you could find something else to love in return.
Today I had one of those really special mother daughter moments with C, she climbed into bed for a snuggle this morning and started to ask questions and one of these questions led onto our magical moment!
She kept asking “what’s that ghosty thing on your head mumma” at first I was baffled and had no clue what she was going on about (she has been watching a lot of Scooby Doo lately and I assumed she was being silly) eventually she pointed to a couple of wedding photos I have on the wall and I realised that she was talking about my veil. I explained that it was a veil and it is what mummy wore on her wedding day and she asked “did you wear a princess dress Mumma” to which I replied yes and I got to wear a tiara just like a princess, the look of awe on her face was picture.
C asked if she could see my tiara so I took her to her bedroom where it was stashed away in a draw, she got it out of the box and marvelled at it, I explained that her aunty Rara (my sister) also wore it on her wedding day, she kept telling me” it is beautiful Mumma I love it”. C then asked if she could see my veil and princess dress, thankfully I have them boxed up in my wardrobe so we went back to my room and I got my wedding dress out, well she could not believe her eyes when the dress came out of the box she kept saying I must have looked like Belle from beauty and the beast which just made my heart melt.
The next thing she said was what made the moment so magical, she proclaimed that “when she is a big girl and gets married she wants to wear my princess dress” this is the very reason I kept my dress in the vein I hope I would have a daughter one day and she would want to wear my dress, I could have cried she was stroking my dress and then decided she had to wear my dress veil and wedding shoes all she could do was stand in my dress while I held it up but it was exactly what she wanted her little face was so cute.
At the end of our little dress up session I asked C who you think you will marry when you are older. Thinking that she might say a prince or her crush Jakey at nursery but her response really made me chuckle without missing a beat she very confidently replied “I am going marry my best friend Immy” so watch this space you never know!
Well just over a week ago my gorgeous baby girl had her operation, she had her tonsils and adenoids out. To say that I was a nervous wreck is an understatement but my awesome little C did not bat an eyelid all she could talk about was driving herself down to the operating theatre in an electric mini cooper!
I was not sure if I really wanted her to have the op and put her through all the trauma, but the surgeons confirmed after the operation that it was a good job we did go through with it as she had grade 3-4 tonsils (in laymen’s terms this means massive) and had a lot of adenoid tissue to be removed, they confirmed thiswould have been really effecting her snoring and sleep apnoea, and the tonsils being so large would definitely have made her life difficult with illness in the future.
The operation was done at the Royal Alexander Children’s Hospital in Brighton and they were phenomenal they not only looked after me the emotional nervous wreck but they also made sure that my daughter was completely happy and comfortable, when in the first part of the operating theatre they blew bubbles to distract her while having her needle and sleep inducing medication put in she had no idea that anything was happening.
When she woke up she was groggy but perfectly happy, 3 hours later she was demanding food and running around like a headless chicken. I cannot get over how quickly she bounced back after the operation. It has not been the easiest week when the Calpol wore off she certainly felt the pain and I have had sleepless nights, I can no longer hear her deep raspy breathing and snoring over the baby monitor, I had to keep getting up to check she was still ok! We were let out of hospital the next day just in time for me to make and decorate 100 cupcakes for the Brighton Baby Expo at the new Amex stadium
I was asked by one of the lovely ladies who runs the baby expo to make some cupcakes for Phil Gallagher who is Cbeebies Mr Maker which I very excitedly agreed to do them and I made the rest of the cakes for the lovely Brighton Mums stand, I was up until 12:pm decorating the to make sure that they were the best I had done, I made a giant cupcake that was put on the Brighton Mums website to be won after the expo. Mister Maker certainly liked my cakes as you can see from the photos he even took my business card
C was gutted as she was supposed to meet Mister Maker who is one her favourite people from cbeebies but was not allowed to be in a public place due to risk of infection, C and her daddy helped me drop of the cakes and who should walk in just after we arrived, Mister Maker himself and he was very kind and spoke with C she was very star struck bless her, when I presented the cakes to him at the ribbon cutting he asked how she was how lovely is that!
C has now made a full recovery and we are now reaping the benefits as she sleeps much better and and can eat much better and I am also hoping that we will have a lot less sore throats chest infections and visits to the hospital!