Tag Archives: Friends

A Fresh New Beginning!

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This Easter proved for  my husband and I a wonderful fresh new beginning! We had some much needed time together as a family and shared some really special moments with friends.

As a little family of three it has often proved that we struggle with quality time together my husbands job is extremely busy and can often have him working long hours in the office and away, or working ridiculously long hours at the dining room table.

Come the weekends it is my turn to work doing SEO blogs at the dining room table while the hubby takes C out for some one to one time which they both adore, but this means the three of us get no time together!

But having a long bank holiday weekend together made us all feel so much more united,  we went on an egg hunt set up by one of my very dear mummy friends in our local park we decorated eggs and did the kids did an egg rolling competition (the seagulls definitely got more out of this than we did).

We then went onto a friends house for lunch and this were we realised that life was going to be so much easier. We have always been about 4 years ahead of our friends in buying a home, settling down, and having kids.

We for a while felt a distance from our friends, this was no fault of anyone’s our lives had just taken a different path we chose to have a child which we new would stop us just being able to go out at the drop of a hat. It was fine while C was a small baby as we did not have to fit her into a schedule, but after a year and starting nursery we realised that a routine was essential especially as C was quite poorly.

But this Easter proved a significant change for us, when we rocked up to our friends house a good 30 mins late we discovered that there were more married people in the Room than single (and I know me saying this will rankle some readers as it should not matter if you are married single or other) and the other thing that genuinely took us by surprise was the number of kids in the room two of our friends have had twins, another had a little boy 8 weeks ago and the hosts were 5.5 months pregnant to, so us walking into a room with a 3.5 year old daughter and pregnant bump did not feel nearly so daunting as it normally would.

It has to be said we are incredibley fortunate to have the friends we do! we have been friends some of thems since school some 18 years (this is were the hubby and I met in the 6th form and we have been together ever since).

They are genuine honest and incredibly supportive, and whenever C is around they are amazing with her and entertain her they have never once grumbled that we have bought her along they seem genuinely entertained by her and always provide activities for her to do.

And now C will he the boss she is already allowed to hold the babies and feeds my friends twins. She has proved herself to be very helpful if a little bossy.

We feel like we are no longer the odd ones out and realise we just had to be patient things would catch up to us, we now feel more inclined to try and arrange things to do that are child friendly and it won’t put people off. We have realised that even though sometimes life can pull you away from each other or close friends if you give it time and patience you will be drawn back together for that much needed refresh and you can start the next chapter with a clear and an open heart.

All we need now is the sun to make an appearance so that we can get all the kids out to have some BBQ’s fun and games, roll the summer!

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Friends for Life…..

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Having a child is something that will change your life and I know it really changed mine, not only did I suddenly have my life turned upside down by this little bundle of joy, but I also discovered that just because I had a child and my life changed dramatically overnight it did not mean that everyone around me would suddenly drop everything and revel in the baby shenanigans.

Being a first time mum was at first a very lonely experience for me, I felt like my life had stopped overnight and suddenly I had just become  a mum, no longer was I the fun daft , a bit to loud and talkative (with a very rude sense of humour) Helen who could be incredibly dizzy and dappy. I felt like my friends had deserted me and that I no longer had a rightful place in my social circle. Why would I, I thought no one would be interested in my tired and sleep deprived baby ramblings. Let alone the fact that I felt like I was a useless mother. I really felt like everything I was doing for C was completely wrong. My poor hubby did not know which way to turn no matter how much he tried to reassure me that my friends had gone nowhere and that whenever I wanted I could go out I would find a way out of doing the thing I most wanted, I made many many excuses to not go out.

My husband was my backbone and the most patient person in the world after my I had my daughter. He was so hands on and just such a natural father things just seemed to be ok when he was around us.

I discovered baby groups when my daughter was 3 months old and this is where being a mum got a whole lot easier. I was so nervous the first time I walked into the room, but the one saving grace was that it was a new group and the session I attended was the first ever one so there was no clique of ladies who had already formed friendships, everyone who attended that day and almost every week after were so lovely. Any new mum who walked through the door at 1pm on a Thursday was welcomed and everyone made the effort o introduce themselves and coo over the new baby in the group. I have to say that the friendly atmosphere was really encouraged by the group leaders they were the same 3 ladies every week and they soon became your friends and could spot the mum who was struggling and take bubba off them for 5 minutes giving them the chance to have a cuppa and a biscuit and a chance to breath.

I went to the group every Thursday for 9 months until my daughter started nursery at 10 months old. The group would break up for the school half terms and the mums I had become good friends with made the effort to meet up. And now 2 years on I still meet with these amazing ladies and we now do it on a Friday. We have been through Pregnancies, losses, upcoming weddings, birthdays, and a triplet birth. We have supported each other through each our children’s milestones and stressed and fretted over why lour kids are not doing things we want them to. I feel so blessed to have these amazing beautiful mummies in my life, they have really supported me through some tough months with C and I feel that they have become friends for life.

Having said this I have in the last 6 months come to realise that my friends who were there celebrating with me when I announced I was pregnant are still there, they never went anywhere! If I phoned them they are still at the end of the phone, they enjoy being around my child, two of them are her god parents. I have realised and appreciated that just because my life has changed due to my child being a cheeky little monkey, theirs has not! They still have to go to work; they have to earn money pay their bills and just because they are my friends they should not be expected to drop everything just because I have a child. In other words they are still my closest friends I still adore them and I should be a lot less paranoid and have belief in my friendships, so what if it is a month or two since I have seen them I know that if I needed them they would be there for me.