Tag Archives: pregnancy

Pregnancy, Arthritis and Me

Standard

My legs are not pretty that is why I wear trousers but can you spot the swollen knee?Now I am rather excited as on the 30th April my hubby C and I trotted off to the hospital for my 20 week scan, my daughter confirmed she wanted to know what was in mummies tummy! As soon as they started the  scan we new instantly it was very obvious we are having a boy.

This has delighted C no end she has only ever wanted a brother and has previously told me that if it was a girl she was going in the bin.

Now being arthritic and pregnant is not always a happy Combination. I have Ankylosing Spondilitis which is in my spine and hips and has a weakening effect on the muscle skeletal system which leaves you very prone to inflammation and a lot of aches and pains. I have a lot if issues with neck movement and am now suffering with reactive arthritis in other joints.

I am currently having major issues with my knees normally my left but this week has thrown a curve ball at me and my right knee has swollen so big it resembles Frankensteins knee.

Now this dodgy knee is making life very difficult as I am struggling to get around unable to look after C and get her to nursery as we don’t own a car, this has loaded enormous pressure on my already very tired and busy husband. I am currently on crutches and on Thursday spent 7 hours in A&E having my knee drained several times which to put it politely was bloody painful. Now as i don’t have family nearby who can help out so I had to spend all that time on my own while my husband looked after my daughter at home, their is nothing lonelier than being stuck in hospital in pain and pregnant while having excruciating treatments done to you. I shed many tears and all I wanted was a hug or a comforting hand to hold. I know it sounds like I am wallowing in self pity and to be honest i am a bit! my condition is painful and not always visible so many people just wonder what the hell is wrong with me this time.

I have this Jubilee weekend been particularly poorly my knee has been so huge that I have been unable to bend let alone walk on my leftt leg, then my right ankle started to swell, I was so uncomfortable that my specialist called me in for emergency treatment which was painful but so worth it and I am hoping that in a few days I will be back to my normal chipper self.

I hate being in pain and I loath my condition! I have had it since I was 21 and runs in my family along with rheumatoid arthritis and it has struck many of my family young and  old, I thank my lucky stars that I am not as bad as some. My condition is no walk in the park it is uncomfortable and painful and can get me quite low. Being in constant pain is physically and mentally draining and having a toddler and being pregnant just burdens the situation.

BUT that said I would not change my situation for the world I have a beautiful daughter a son on the way a fabulous husband who has been with me since the day I was diagnosed and a home I am proud of (it may not look like a palace but it is mine!)

I feel that 90% of the time my condition has actually made me a stronger person I can handle a lot being thrown at me, I can now laugh heartily at the things that used to wind me up and have more compassion and understanding towards others

I really believe the saying “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!”

Advertisements

A Fresh New Beginning!

Standard

This Easter proved for  my husband and I a wonderful fresh new beginning! We had some much needed time together as a family and shared some really special moments with friends.

As a little family of three it has often proved that we struggle with quality time together my husbands job is extremely busy and can often have him working long hours in the office and away, or working ridiculously long hours at the dining room table.

Come the weekends it is my turn to work doing SEO blogs at the dining room table while the hubby takes C out for some one to one time which they both adore, but this means the three of us get no time together!

But having a long bank holiday weekend together made us all feel so much more united,  we went on an egg hunt set up by one of my very dear mummy friends in our local park we decorated eggs and did the kids did an egg rolling competition (the seagulls definitely got more out of this than we did).

We then went onto a friends house for lunch and this were we realised that life was going to be so much easier. We have always been about 4 years ahead of our friends in buying a home, settling down, and having kids.

We for a while felt a distance from our friends, this was no fault of anyone’s our lives had just taken a different path we chose to have a child which we new would stop us just being able to go out at the drop of a hat. It was fine while C was a small baby as we did not have to fit her into a schedule, but after a year and starting nursery we realised that a routine was essential especially as C was quite poorly.

But this Easter proved a significant change for us, when we rocked up to our friends house a good 30 mins late we discovered that there were more married people in the Room than single (and I know me saying this will rankle some readers as it should not matter if you are married single or other) and the other thing that genuinely took us by surprise was the number of kids in the room two of our friends have had twins, another had a little boy 8 weeks ago and the hosts were 5.5 months pregnant to, so us walking into a room with a 3.5 year old daughter and pregnant bump did not feel nearly so daunting as it normally would.

It has to be said we are incredibley fortunate to have the friends we do! we have been friends some of thems since school some 18 years (this is were the hubby and I met in the 6th form and we have been together ever since).

They are genuine honest and incredibly supportive, and whenever C is around they are amazing with her and entertain her they have never once grumbled that we have bought her along they seem genuinely entertained by her and always provide activities for her to do.

And now C will he the boss she is already allowed to hold the babies and feeds my friends twins. She has proved herself to be very helpful if a little bossy.

We feel like we are no longer the odd ones out and realise we just had to be patient things would catch up to us, we now feel more inclined to try and arrange things to do that are child friendly and it won’t put people off. We have realised that even though sometimes life can pull you away from each other or close friends if you give it time and patience you will be drawn back together for that much needed refresh and you can start the next chapter with a clear and an open heart.

All we need now is the sun to make an appearance so that we can get all the kids out to have some BBQ’s fun and games, roll the summer!

The Adams Family is Growing

Standard

I have been desperate to write this post but had to wait until I had my first scan to announce it to anyone and everyone! I now want to shout it from the roof tops I AM PREGNANT!!!! My little family of three is in September going to be a

Cami practicing her big sister skills with my friends son Flynn

foursome!

My Husband and I had to get over the shock at first even though we had been trying it still came as a bit of a surprise. I have been on long term harmful medication for my arthritis I came off it last June to prepare my body and get it back into a state that would be able to accept a pregnancy. I had a full on family Christmas and I let my hair down, I had a few drinks (and for those of you who know me will know that I don’t really drink and have not done for a long time) but for some reason this Christmas I just went with the flow little did I know I was going to find out in the new year I was going to have a baby.

Oddly enough the day before I did my test C kissed my tummy and hugged me and said Mummy there is a baby in there! I just laughed and said “I don’t think so you are my bubba at the moment, maybe one day” but I had an inkling and did a test the next day and hey presto it was positive.

It has not all been plain sailing as at 9 weeks I had a scare and all my pregnancy symptoms disappeared leaving me fearful that I had miss carried this has happened before and left me in rather a bad way (a story I really do not want relive) but after a call to the midwife and a scan at the EPU clinic they found a good strong heart beat much to my utter relief.

I have had horrendous morning sickness but I am kind of glad as it means everything is a going as it should do, this pregnancy is in no way going to be easy as I have been off my arthritis medication for so long and it is starting to flair, I had chronic SPD when pregnant with C and been warned by specialists that I will need a lot more care during this pregnancy to help me handle my pain, which will probably be worse this time round, but I am prepared I want to try and enjoy this pregnancy as it will be the last time I will be doing it! I have been heartily advised to not have anymore children due to my condition my body is just not strong enough.

My other fear and I have again been warned it could happen due to my weak immune system is a Polymorphic Eruption of Pregnancy (also known as PEP) I was left neck to toe in a very itch papule rash for the last 3 months of pregnancy and was unbearable and disturbed me 24/7, I had mottled scarring for 3 months after giving birth, I am desperate for this NOT to happen again and would not wish it on my worst enemy.

I realise I sound quite negative when I am actually very excited and desperate to find out what the sex is, C has demanded a brother no pressure then ;o) I will be happy with whatever I am given. I feel very lucky to be having a second child; I am most excited about giving C a sister or brother as she is the most gorgeous caring and nurturing little girl who will be the most amazing big sister. C has already declared that she wants to help! She said “I will do the wee nappies Mummy and Daddy can do the poo nappies” she really does melt my heart.

Friends for Life…..

Standard

Having a child is something that will change your life and I know it really changed mine, not only did I suddenly have my life turned upside down by this little bundle of joy, but I also discovered that just because I had a child and my life changed dramatically overnight it did not mean that everyone around me would suddenly drop everything and revel in the baby shenanigans.

Being a first time mum was at first a very lonely experience for me, I felt like my life had stopped overnight and suddenly I had just become  a mum, no longer was I the fun daft , a bit to loud and talkative (with a very rude sense of humour) Helen who could be incredibly dizzy and dappy. I felt like my friends had deserted me and that I no longer had a rightful place in my social circle. Why would I, I thought no one would be interested in my tired and sleep deprived baby ramblings. Let alone the fact that I felt like I was a useless mother. I really felt like everything I was doing for C was completely wrong. My poor hubby did not know which way to turn no matter how much he tried to reassure me that my friends had gone nowhere and that whenever I wanted I could go out I would find a way out of doing the thing I most wanted, I made many many excuses to not go out.

My husband was my backbone and the most patient person in the world after my I had my daughter. He was so hands on and just such a natural father things just seemed to be ok when he was around us.

I discovered baby groups when my daughter was 3 months old and this is where being a mum got a whole lot easier. I was so nervous the first time I walked into the room, but the one saving grace was that it was a new group and the session I attended was the first ever one so there was no clique of ladies who had already formed friendships, everyone who attended that day and almost every week after were so lovely. Any new mum who walked through the door at 1pm on a Thursday was welcomed and everyone made the effort o introduce themselves and coo over the new baby in the group. I have to say that the friendly atmosphere was really encouraged by the group leaders they were the same 3 ladies every week and they soon became your friends and could spot the mum who was struggling and take bubba off them for 5 minutes giving them the chance to have a cuppa and a biscuit and a chance to breath.

I went to the group every Thursday for 9 months until my daughter started nursery at 10 months old. The group would break up for the school half terms and the mums I had become good friends with made the effort to meet up. And now 2 years on I still meet with these amazing ladies and we now do it on a Friday. We have been through Pregnancies, losses, upcoming weddings, birthdays, and a triplet birth. We have supported each other through each our children’s milestones and stressed and fretted over why lour kids are not doing things we want them to. I feel so blessed to have these amazing beautiful mummies in my life, they have really supported me through some tough months with C and I feel that they have become friends for life.

Having said this I have in the last 6 months come to realise that my friends who were there celebrating with me when I announced I was pregnant are still there, they never went anywhere! If I phoned them they are still at the end of the phone, they enjoy being around my child, two of them are her god parents. I have realised and appreciated that just because my life has changed due to my child being a cheeky little monkey, theirs has not! They still have to go to work; they have to earn money pay their bills and just because they are my friends they should not be expected to drop everything just because I have a child. In other words they are still my closest friends I still adore them and I should be a lot less paranoid and have belief in my friendships, so what if it is a month or two since I have seen them I know that if I needed them they would be there for me.